i guess that it is typical....

to cling to memories youll never get back again....


well im thinking of starting a new tradition of general things about my birthday each year.

this year a lot has changed.  we moved to washington, decided we could try to parents, learned i dont ovulate, i became an aunt, i lost my job,  michael got a great new job, we got a second cat... im generally growing up.

ive wondered a lot the last couple of days about decisions i have made in the past and if they were the right ones.  im sure they were but you cant help but wonder.  what would have happened.  who would i be now.  and so on.

so ten years ago today i was a junior in high school.  i was dating a boy named miguel off and on for three years. i was living alone with my sister.  i was driving a blue jeep pick up truck.  i was sad.  my favorite album was lifted by bright eyes.  my favorite song was one foot in front of the other by bright eyes when the lyric was 'youd think after 22 years id be used to the spin.'  my favorite band was bright eyes.  my best friend was annie.  i was in laramie.  i hated it there.  i small and adorable.  i had let my hair grow past my shoulders.  i was ready to grow up and fall in love.

today i still feel lost in a lot of ways.  i have found things i love but i havent yet been able to obtain.  ive been with michael for three years now.  i drive a blue subaru.  im not sad.  my favorite album is still lifted by bright eyes but for different reasons.  i have so many favorite songs i cannot pick just one.  my favorite band is still bright eyes.  my best friend is michael and my sister.  im in washington and love it.  im not so small and a little less adorable.  my hair is short.  im still ready to grow up even though i know i have grown up a lot since i was 17.  i have fallen in and out of love and in love and am settled here.

interesting to see where next year will be.